This Past School Year

If you were to ask me how last year went I would say that it was my hardest year by far when it comes to teaching. By the end of the school year I was burnt out and exhausted.  It has been two weeks now that I have been out of school and I still have not recovered. I remember that last day thinking “Oh my goodness, I don’t know how I did it but I survived the year.”  I don’t know if I can do another year like that again. I thought about all sorts of other options, working in a law office, becoming a private teacher, going back and getting my masters in math and curriculum so I can create math curriculum. When I went to school to be a teacher they don’t really teach all that is involved.  My first two years I had a lot of support, I had a great mentor who was next to me every step of the way, I felt lost those two years but there was always someone to fall back on. This year my mentor moved to another school, though I could call her anytime for help it was not the same.  

We also got a new principal and assistant principal and  so the expectations were different and some of the new expectations I was expected to know and understand however I had never really learned, so I felt a little lost and inadequate at times. I think the hardest expectation for me is to analyze data. I had done a lot of analyzing my first/second year however I looked at whole class and analyzed data from the whole class. This last year we were to analyze each student’s test and know where each student was struggling and I had 105+ students and it took me two days to correct the test and about a week to analyze each student’s test.  Then I created warm-ups and review sheets to help students master what they were struggling with. By the end I was so tired and exhausted and just plain worn out. I thought several times that if I work this hard I am sure that there is some other job that I could work just as hard and make much more money.  I wasn’t really teaching anymore just surviving.

My passion is teaching and when all I am doing is study guides and warm-ups I didn’t really want to be a teacher any longer. I guess I never have had the passion for reviewing and paper. I feel that real teaching is involved and individual; everyone is learning and being inspired in their own learning style. In order to have a learning environment you need to have a classroom where exploration is encouraged through games, movement, discussion and real life connections.

This past year I was also asked to be the 5^th grade team leader. I tried my best however I would have done so much better if I knew what I was supposed to be doing. I felt that I lead my team astray at times because I just didn’t know what I was doing. They were always very patent and understanding and now all I can do if laugh about all the silly mistakes I made. I worked with a great team.  I hope to get a chance to be a team leader again when I am more experienced and can offer more to a team.

There is only one way to look at this past year. I can do so much better next year. I surely learned a lot this year. I always seem to learn the most in hard situations. I am going to spend most of the summer preparing for the coming year, so I am ready for what will be thrown my way.