Living Consciously

Last time I wrote I had said that I discovered that I felt responsible/took ownership for other people’s emotions.  I have been working very hard on not taking ownership of others emotions and it has opened up a whole new world for me. It does not come natural yet, I still have to step back and think “am I feeling bad because of their feeling or is this really how I feel “and most of the time I discover that I feel bad because of how someone else is feeling. Then I tell myself that “I can’t change nor control how they are feeling I can only control how I am feeling” and then the worry that I am doing something wrong goes away. One day I hope I don’t have to think about it and it will come natural, but for now I will continue to work on it and improve. I do feel a great difference; I am happier and more peaceful.  I have felt a freedom that I have never felt before; the freedom to have fun and enjoy myself even if the other person is not. I have also discovered that I have begun to live my own life.

I am still reading the book “Boundaries.” I know it is taking me a long time to read and it is not because it is a hard read but rather I am reading two other books at the same time, so I am taking my time. I will be done soon. I was reading about how to teach our children boundaries, very interesting. I have actually been using some of the things I have learned with my son and they seem to be working. I am starting to see that my own healing is helping my son heal. It has been kind of a miracle.

So I am reading this other book, one of the other two books I am reading, it was not suggested to me. I just read a quote from the author about being true to yourself so I picked up one, actually two, of his books and the one I am reading now is called “How to Raise Your Self-Esteem.” And it is by Nathaniel Branden. Oh my goodness it is an amazing book. It really makes you think, I just got done reading a chapter on living consciously. WOW!!!!!  I will just share a little of what it says:

 “To have good self-esteem you have to live consciously… The appropriate use of our consciousness is no automatic: rather it is an act of choice…To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on your actions, purposes, values, and goals, and to behave in accordance with that which we see and know…Living consciously means taking responsibility for the awareness appropriate to the action in which we are engages…self-esteem, then, is a function, not of what we are born with, but how we use our consciousness-the choices we make concerning awareness, the honesty of our relationship with reality, and the level of our personal integrity…Living consciously is living responsibly towards reality.”  

It is kind of an amazing thought, that when we are living consciously and that by accepting our reality even if our reality is not the greatest we raise our self-esteem and self-worth. There is so much more that the book explains and some of those things are very deep. I thought when I bought the book it was a 1, 2, 3 self-help book on how to have higher self-esteem but rather it explains what self-esteem is. I didn't really get the book to raise my own self-esteem I just like a quote I read from the author, but I am learning some amazing things about self-worth and self-respect.