Change of Heart

My heart has changed over the last few weeks. I feel a renewal of self. Something I have not felt in a VERY long time. I feel my heart is whole and that I have been opened up to love and kindness.  I am still getting use to this feeling however I love it. I lost this feeling through hurt that I have caused myself though disobedience and distrust.

The cause of the change of heart could be the combination of conference, prayer, reading my scriptures and finally opening up and trusting a friend. It was more like ripping my heart open and throwing everything I had at my friend. I felt horrible because I felt as though I threw a big mess of emotions and feeling, it was not pretty, I felt a little crazy and I probably sounded a little crazy too. I completely love my friend for allowing me to open my heart up even though it was very uncomfortable for both of us. I will be forever grateful for the ability that my friend has allowed me to trust and feel again. The sad part I didn’t even realize I was keeping so many things in.  

I guess after everything that happened in New York before I moved here I just closed that part of my life and started a new life. I have learned that you cannot do that without having some disconnect.  I loved New York but knew that it was not the place for me. I also knew that if I stayed there I would not have progressed into the person I needed to be and the person I am now. I needed to come to Texas and get my life sorted out.  If I stayed in New York, I know that I would not have been prepared to be a mother. 

Who would have thought that one crazy emotion filled conversation would be the answer? I should have had that conversation a long time ago. Now that I have this feeling of renewal of self back, I can serve and love others in a way that I have not been able to in a VERY long time. The key is to keep this change of heart and become better by loving and serving others. 

Forgiveness

I had a talk on forgiveness today. I have had to do my share of forgiving and asking for forgiveness in my life. I have come to believe that forgiveness is not for the person needing forgiving but rather the person doing the forgiving. In my talk I used to conference talks “Forgiveness” by Gordon B. Hinckley and “The Healing Power of Forgiveness” by James E. Faust. Both talks I have read many times and have pondered their content and taken from them some valuable things. I most love the storied that they share because they are real life stories in which other people and society are better because of forgiveness. The first story from 2005 Gordon B. Hinckley tells a story of a woman who has to forgive, and I quote…

“How would you feel toward a teenager who decided to toss a 20-pound frozen turkey from a speeding car headlong into the windshield of the car you were driving? How would you feel after enduring six hours of surgery using metal plates and other hardware to piece your face together, and after learning you still face years of therapy before returning to normal—and that you ought to feel lucky you didn’t die or suffer permanent brain damage?

“And how would you feel after learning that your assailant and his buddies had the turkey in the first place because they had stolen a credit card and gone on a senseless shopping spree, just for kicks? …

“This is the kind of hideous crime that propels politicians to office on promises of getting tough on crime. It’s the kind of thing that prompts legislators to climb all over each other in a struggle to be the first to introduce a bill that would add enhanced penalties for the use of frozen fowl in the commission of a crime.

“The New York Times quoted the district attorney as saying this is the sort of crime for which victims feel no punishment is harsh enough. ‘Death doesn’t even satisfy them,’ he said.

“Which is what makes what really happened so unusual. The victim, Victoria Ruvolo, a 44-year-old former manager of a collections agency, was more interested in salvaging the life of her 19-year-old assailant, Ryan Cushing, than in exacting any sort of revenge. She pestered prosecutors for information about him, his life, how he was raised, etc. Then she insisted on offering him a plea deal. Cushing could serve six months in the county jail and be on probation for 5 years if he pleaded guilty to second-degree assault.

“Had he been convicted of first-degree assault—the charge most fitting for the crime—he could have served 25 years in prison, finally thrown back into society as a middle-aged man with no skills or prospects.

“But this is only half the story. The rest of it, what happened the day this all played out in court, is the truly remarkable part.

“According to an account in the New York Post, Cushing carefully and tentatively made his way to where Ruvolo sat in the courtroom and tearfully whispered an apology. ‘I’m so sorry for what I did to you.’

“Ruvolo then stood, and the victim and her assailant embraced, weeping. She stroked his head and patted his back as he sobbed, and witnesses, including a Times reporter, heard her say, ‘It’s OK. I just want you to make your life the best it can be.’ According to accounts, hardened prosecutors, and even reporters, were choking back tears” (“Forgiveness Has Power to Change Future,” Deseret Morning News, Aug. 21, 2005, p. AA3).

I think of myself and wonder could I have the courage and strength to forgive if something like this had ever happened to me. It would like to think so, however sometimes we never know how we are going to react until tested. There is surely something to be said about people that can forgive so readily.

The second story from 2007, James E Faust tells a story about how the power of forgiveness can heal, and I quote…

In the beautiful hills of Pennsylvania, a devout group of Christian people live a simple life without automobiles, electricity, or modern machinery. They work hard and live quiet, peaceful lives separate from the world. Most of their food comes from their own farms. The women sew and knit and weave their clothing, which is modest and plain. They are known as the Amish people.

A 32-year-old milk truck driver lived with his family in their Nickel Mines community. He was not Amish, but his pickup route took him to many Amish dairy farms, where he became known as the quiet milkman. Last October he suddenly lost all reason and control. In his tormented mind he blamed God for the death of his first child and some unsubstantiated memories. He stormed into the Amish school without any provocation, released the boys and adults, and tied up the 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own life.

This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman’s suffering family. As the milkman’s family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, “We will forgive you.” Amish leaders visited the milkman’s wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman’s funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman’s family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.

One local resident very eloquently summed up the aftermath of this tragedy when he said, “We were all speaking the same language, and not just English, but a language of caring, a language of community, [and] a language of service. And, yes, a language of forgiveness.” ² It was an amazing outpouring of their complete faith in the Lord’s teachings in the Sermon on the Mount: “Do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” ³

The family of the milkman who killed the five girls released the following statement to the public:

“To our Amish friends, neighbors, and local community:

“Our family wants each of you to know that we are overwhelmed by the forgiveness, grace, and mercy that you’ve extended to us. Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. The prayers, flowers, cards, and gifts you’ve given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.

“Please know that our hearts have been broken by all that has happened. We are filled with sorrow for all of our Amish neighbors whom we have loved and continue to love. We know that there are many hard days ahead for all the families who lost loved ones, and so we will continue to put our hope and trust in the God of all comfort, as we all seek to rebuild our lives.” ⁴

How could the whole Amish group manifest such an expression of forgiveness? It was because of their faith in God and trust in His word, which is part of their inner beings. They see themselves as disciples of Christ and want to follow His example.

Hearing of this tragedy, many people sent money to the Amish to pay for the health care of the five surviving girls and for the burial expenses of the five who were killed. As a further demonstration of their discipleship, the Amish decided to share some of the money with the widow of the milkman and her three children because they too were victims of this terrible tragedy.

Forgiveness is not always instantaneous as it was with the Amish. When innocent children have been molested or killed, most of us do not think first about forgiveness. Our natural response is anger. We may even feel justified in wanting to “get even” with anyone who inflicts injury on us or our family.

Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships:

“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.” ⁵

I grew up in very difficult circumstances in which I was left wounded and hurt. It took me years to be able to let go and forgive those wrong doing. All the while I was hurting and yearning to be healed from pains from the past. The freedom from this hurt and pain came through forgiveness and letting go. True forgiveness can truly heal a person. Forgiveness is truly a miracle that each of us have the ability to give to ourselves and those that need our forgiveness.

Car Struggles

I really do not like it when you go into a shop to get your car fixed and they try in every way take advantage of you. I can’t tell you the pain I have had with my car the last week. They found out that I needed a battery and the dealer was going to have me pay $200 dollars making me believe that it was the only way they could fix my car. I went in today and realized they did not need to put a $200 dollar battery in and that when I get it out I can go and get a $100 cheaper battery with the same warranty as they can offer. Now I am having troubles with the extended warranty that I had paid a pretty penny to buy. They need or want proof that I have been maintaining my car with regular oil changes and such. The last oil change that I have on record is 6 months ago. I have had it changed since than however I had someone else do it for me. I like synthetic oil and so I like to go and buy the oil and oil filter and have someone else change the oil for me and this last time is what I did. Now they are giving me a hard time about it. The problem is they do not want to pay for the repairs. What really gets me is they can look at the car and see that I am very good at maintaining my car. They just want to make it as difficult as possible for me so that they do not have to pay for the repairs. It is hard when people and companies try to take advantage of good people.  I guess tomorrow I am going to write a claimer that I have had the oil fixed and that it was done by a friend of mine, what more can I do? I will not allow them to take advantage. I guess I would never even think of taking advantage of another person.

Our Hearts

Sometimes we need to look deep into our heart to discover who we truly are. WE must look within and fix those things broken before we can fix those things without. We must purge ourselves of pride, as we do so we can begin to heal and be cleansed. Our heart is the source of love and kindness.

Friends

It is amazing what you can learn from your friends and the people around you. I have had some rather extraordinary friends in my life and every time I think of what I have learned from each of them I am humbled to have been so blessed.  There are those friends for life that I can call up at a moment’s notice and are always there with a non-judgmental ear. They are friends that take me as I am even when I am not perfect. Then there are those friends that I meet in passing and they didn’t really stick around long however they have taught me something that has changed my life. It’s as though they come into my life and instill a life lesson and they are gone.

We never know when we may touch someone’s life; it could be in an instant when we say something that is an answer to another person prayer or something that someone needed to hear. Many times we don’t even realize the impact we have. We should never underestimate our ability to touch someone’s life, because we can influence and lift someone every day.

My life is filled with people that I have come to love and admire; friends that I don’t know what I would do without. We all need each other; we are all struggling to find our way and we shouldn’t be struggling alone. What a great difference a smile or a kind word can make in someone’s life. You never know when you just might be an answer to someone’s prayer. Many of my friends, whether for life or just a brief moment, have been answers to my prayers.

Thanks to all those friends who have always been there and love me even when I fall short at times. Thanks to all those friends that have only been in my life for a brief time and have left foot prints on my heart.  

This Past School Year

If you were to ask me how last year went I would say that it was my hardest year by far when it comes to teaching. By the end of the school year I was burnt out and exhausted.  It has been two weeks now that I have been out of school and I still have not recovered. I remember that last day thinking “Oh my goodness, I don’t know how I did it but I survived the year.”  I don’t know if I can do another year like that again. I thought about all sorts of other options, working in a law office, becoming a private teacher, going back and getting my masters in math and curriculum so I can create math curriculum. When I went to school to be a teacher they don’t really teach all that is involved.  My first two years I had a lot of support, I had a great mentor who was next to me every step of the way, I felt lost those two years but there was always someone to fall back on. This year my mentor moved to another school, though I could call her anytime for help it was not the same.  

We also got a new principal and assistant principal and  so the expectations were different and some of the new expectations I was expected to know and understand however I had never really learned, so I felt a little lost and inadequate at times. I think the hardest expectation for me is to analyze data. I had done a lot of analyzing my first/second year however I looked at whole class and analyzed data from the whole class. This last year we were to analyze each student’s test and know where each student was struggling and I had 105+ students and it took me two days to correct the test and about a week to analyze each student’s test.  Then I created warm-ups and review sheets to help students master what they were struggling with. By the end I was so tired and exhausted and just plain worn out. I thought several times that if I work this hard I am sure that there is some other job that I could work just as hard and make much more money.  I wasn’t really teaching anymore just surviving.

My passion is teaching and when all I am doing is study guides and warm-ups I didn’t really want to be a teacher any longer. I guess I never have had the passion for reviewing and paper. I feel that real teaching is involved and individual; everyone is learning and being inspired in their own learning style. In order to have a learning environment you need to have a classroom where exploration is encouraged through games, movement, discussion and real life connections.

This past year I was also asked to be the 5^th grade team leader. I tried my best however I would have done so much better if I knew what I was supposed to be doing. I felt that I lead my team astray at times because I just didn’t know what I was doing. They were always very patent and understanding and now all I can do if laugh about all the silly mistakes I made. I worked with a great team.  I hope to get a chance to be a team leader again when I am more experienced and can offer more to a team.

There is only one way to look at this past year. I can do so much better next year. I surely learned a lot this year. I always seem to learn the most in hard situations. I am going to spend most of the summer preparing for the coming year, so I am ready for what will be thrown my way.

BEING A MOM

As a mother I often wonder if I am doing this right. I see how other parents are with their children and I want so badly to be a good mother. I often forget that I have only been a mother for a year and a half. I still have a lot to learn. I am hard on myself because I feel that because I am a teacher I should naturally know what to do. I never really had a great example from my own parents so I look around at what looks good and works for others and then try to implement it in my own life and when I see something better that is working well for someone else I try to change so that I can be the best parent I can be.

Today I was reading an article about children that have been adopted at an older age. It was very enlightening.  It really helped explain some things about my son that I did not understand are normal for children who are adopted at an older age. The article was called “Give Them Three Years” by Tami Razvi and Imran Razvi. It explained that children adopted at an older age are not at their developmental age and that as adopted parents we need to allow them to grow into their new life. Any child that has been “in need of a family, has gotten to that point only after experiencing some major trauma in his life.” The article went on to say that we adopted parents have expectations and when we see a 7 year old, or a 9 year old in my case, we expect them to act and respond in a manner that a 7 or 9 year old child should they may act younger and we need to allow them three years. What was interesting to me is the article suggested that these children need to go through an infant stage. First the child is not going to respond with love and gratitude. I remember before he came into my life, the family before me said that he has no attachment to anything and anyone. How true that was, he really didn’t feel connected to anything or anyone. He is getting better. Second, “parents should expect that their will be some things that happen in public in front of both friends and strangers that could be embarrassing because the child looks too old for that type of behavior.” Oh my goodness this happens all of the time. This is actually the hardest thing for me and it was good to hear that it is normal for children that have been adopted at an older age. I really get on my son a lot about his behavior in front of other people. Most times he is great when it is just he and I but you put other people into the mix than it is a whole new story. Sometime it can turn out to be dreadful.  Finally “infant type behaviors need to be allowed.” It is hard for me to allow my son to have infant behaviors. He has all the fears and anxieties of a younger child, in many instances he acts very young. The article said to give him three years and he will grow into his age he just needs to go through this infant stage. I am hoping that is correct. If it is I have another year and a half left. I have seen great changes already.  

I know that my son has been through a lot in his life. There are many things that I don’t even know about. Just moving from family to family has caused much trauma in his life. When life gets hard he wants a new family or he thinks I am going to give him up. I guess I can’t blame him for that, when life got really hard he moved to another family. I remember when my mom could not take care of him any longer he would go back home with my sister and when she couldn’t handle him he would go back to my moms. He jumped back and forth between my mom and my sister and about four years ago my brother and sister-in-law took him and because they had younger children they could not keep him. That is when the family before me got him. The family is an aunt of my sister-in-law. They had 6 other children all older than my son. He struggled there for many different reasons. When they could not handle him any longer I was called and they asked me to take him. I worked with this family and the State of Utah and he was here a week and a half later. My son has some rather large scars right now and those scars “must be healed in order for (him) to grow into a fully functional, healthy adult.” It is not going to happen overnight, nor is it going to happen in a year. It will take time and patience which sometimes I am limited especially when I am run down and tired. The reward in the end will be great if I do not give up, which is not in my nature.

Am I perfect mom? No, not at all, I fall short all of the time. I am trying to do the best I can with everything going on in life. I have been so blessed to have good people to help me be the best I can. Many have given me advice as I have come to them with questions and they have so kindly explained what works for them and how to implement it in my own life. It is not easy, but will it be worth it? Of course it will. Great things come when you take sacrifices to make them happen. 

College Right After High School

After I graduated from high school and before I moved to North Carolina, I went to Dixie Community College a year and a half. I actually went to school for design and business. Very few people know that about me. Design has always been fascinating to me, and still is. I loved my classes, they were so much fun, we created some fun things and I learned many things about the fashion and business world. Though I have always loved fashion, I have always knows it was never something that I was meant to do as a profession. Rather I just wanted to be fashionable and if you know me now you would wonder, “She took a fashion class??????” I know, I know, I am not as fashionable as I would like to be. I have learned that there are more important things that we need to be worried about.

When I was attending Dixie Community College, I was a club president for The Best Buddies Club. I really liked it; however it was a hard job. The college really put a lot effort into training me, they sent me to Florida for two weeks and I received some great training and I met some rather amazing people. With the training I was able to get the club working rather smoothly on campus. That year we were a thriving club and we did a lot of great things. If you don’t know what “Best Buddies” is let me tell you. It is a program where college students partnered (buddied) up with students with disabilities. The college students friended students with disabilities and they took them out into public and taught them how socialize with other people. Many people with disabilities didn’t get to go out unless they were with family. It was nice for them to get out with a peer. I remember teaching my buddy how to order food at a nicer restaurant and then how to eat. We were able to teach a lot of different things. Many of the buddies did not get out into society very often and so they did not know how to act or be around other people. We really did a lot of great things. I was really involved with the program for a year and after that I trained someone else and turned the program over to them and I got involved in other student body activities.

I was so involved and having too much fun that I slacked a little too much in my studies and I didn’t keep my grades up and ended up dropping out, or taking a break from college for a bit. I than moved to North Carolina soon after, I needed to get away from my family; I don’t remember what was going on at the time but I am sure it was crazy.

Never give up

Today I was sitting here thinking about all the wonderful things that I have in my life and all the things that I have had to go through to get here. Things in my life have not come easily, however I don’t think they come very easy for most people. I remember thinking a few years back “is this what my life is going to be, full of trails and hardships, and is there ever going to be a time that I won’t have to struggle?” Yesterday as I was driving to Houston I spoke with a friend of mine in New York and life for her these last few years have not been very easy. She asked me the same question that I have asked myself many time; “is this every going to end?” It really got me thinking about my own struggle to get to where I am now. My circumstances are so different today from what they were three, four or even five years ago, which makes my struggles different, but I still have hardships and difficult times. I truly feel our struggles, our trials and endurance of hardships is what shapes us into who we are and who need to be. As I was speaking with my friend I thought that maybe we go through things not only for our own growth but the growth of those around us. I have learned far more from helping others than I have ever learned from my own indulgences or even my own trials and difficulties. In fact, by helping others I can forget about my trials and struggles for a moment and in the end they do not seem as hard as I thought they were. As I was listening to my dear friend I understood her pain and I knew that if she kept moving forward no matter how hard it might be things would work out for her. Life does not always turn out the way we expect or the way that we want and sometimes the journey can be grueling and we may not see an end. The most difficult times in my life, times I thought I would not survive I come out of them stronger, with more faith and more understanding. I pray that my friend will stay strong even though things are difficult and I hope that everyone going through hard things will stay strong and keep moving no matter how difficult things may get. Never give up on yourself those around you and most importantly Heavenly Father. I have failed at many things and life did not turn out the way I had planned however I am not a failure because I never gave up on Heavenly Father and I never gave up on myself. Oh! How much I still have to learn and grow?

Being Determined vs. Being Stubborn

I have always been very driven, ever since I can remember. When I set my mind to something I do everything I can to achieve my goal. Most times it’s a strength; however there have been times that it has been a weakness. Everything in my life I have had to work very hard to obtain. Of course I have not done it alone; Heavenly Father always seems to be a step ahead of me putting people into my life to teach me something new or to help me along my way. There have been so many people who have been a saving grace for me and how grateful I am for each and every kind deed done to help me to become better. I would not be where I am today without the countless people who have helped along the way.

Too often I mix being driven and going after what I want with being stubborn. I can be hard headed at times and not as forgiving as I should. I can give countless examples of being stubborn. Anyone that knows me well, I am sure can think of a time when I have been very stubborn and hard headed. I hope I am getting better at not being so stubborn.

Looking back

What do I remember about high school? To be honest I don’t really think about high school much, it was a very dark time in my life. I really did not like high school at all and I guess that is one reason that I don’t talk or think about it very often. It has nothing to do with the people I went to school with but rather what was going on in my home at the time. When I look back which is not often. I think “wow there was some seriously bad things going on in my life and I have no idea how I kept it together, if even I did that.”

I was always very quiet and awkward. I never knew what to say and when I said anything I felt very uncomfortable around others, to be honest I felt very insecure about who I was. My sister was always the funny one, the one person that everyone wanted to hang out with. She could make you laugh your heart out at a moments notice. I never really built any strong lasting friendships from high school. Most people I wouldn’t even notice if I walked passed them at the store.

That time in my life seems like a dream because who I was then is far different then who I am now. That person in high school I don’t know anymore and haven’t known for a very long time. I know that there are pieces of that life that have come with me and have helped me to become what I am today. Every part of our lives helps build what we become, including the bad things in our lives as well as the good things.

My last year of high school my dad was put in jail and I was taken away from my family and put into a foster home. At the time it was devastating I felt that it was my fault for being in the circumstance that I was in; however going to the foster home, I came to the realization that there was something out there that was better for me. I could go after things I wanted and actually get them. Before, I never thought of all the possibilities. This new view of life opened a whole new world for me and it took me about a year before I realized that I needed to move very far away from my family and stay away.

A year after I graduated from high school, I moved to North Carolina which was another thing in my life that changed everything in my life. I met some of the greatest people that helped me to find myself and I had a ton of fun doing so. I have very good memories of North Carolina and all the great things that I was able to do while I was there. In North Carolina is where I able to experience this different life. In North Carolina is where I decided that I needed to serve a mission and start living my life in accordance with the truths of the gospel.

Teaching

I feel as though the only time I really write in my blog is after a few days of thinking about life and contemplating what I need to do next. This week I have been thinking a lot about teaching and about what I can do to help my students be successful.

I have been working very hard at school trying to get my students ready for STAAR. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I am doing however I keep trying and hoping that what I try will work. This is a hard year for me so far. I feel like I am back in my first year again. I am learning many great things and I hope that it is making me a stronger teacher. I love teaching and wish I could make a greater impact on my students.

There are so many things that the youth of the world are facing right now. I know that many of my students are going through things that I can’t even imagine. I wish I had more time to sit down with my students and find out about them and let them know that there is a way out and in many cases it is through hard work and an education. I was one of those students 20 year ago that could not see beyond my life and through a miracle I was able to see past and move forward to something greater.

There are so many different demands on a teacher that there are times that we forget the more important things like a friendly smile and a kind word to our students. If there is one thing I would want my students to know is that I really do care about them and I don’t just care about their education, but rather their life and the things that are going on.

Change and Becoming

Change is something that is constantly happening in our lives, and for many people, including myself, change is not very easy. I have been thinking back on the past year and I see many things that I would like to change for this New Year. It is easy to see what we need to change however a bit harder to follow through. It would be great if we decided today to change and tomorrow we were changed. Unfortunately it does not work that way; if it did what would we ever really learn?

After thinking about change I asked myself the more important question “What do I want to become?” What we want to become helps us make choices so that we can become who we want to be.

Who do I want to become?

ü I want to become a greater example to others by the way I live my life.

ü I want to serve and love the people around me.

ü I would like to have a tender heart, to where I could listen to people and understand them even the things they are not saying.

ü I would like to be more grateful for everything and everyone in my life.

ü Overall, I would like to have a more Christ Centered Life.

Now that I know who I want to become, I need to make the necessary changes to be that person. This year I am going to work harder on listening to what people are saying. I use to be good at listening but I have gotten into the bad habit of listening with my ears however not really listening with my heart. I really love my friends, and I am so grateful for them. I feel that I take advantage of them all of the time and I never really tell them how grateful I am for them. It is hard to think back and see where someone did something special for you and at the time you were not as grateful as you should have been and you never got around to thanking them for the kind deed. I can truly say that I have several instances like this and to this day those friends still do not know how grateful I am for them. I guess that is something that I am going to have to change soon. I need to let those people know that I am grateful to them for all that they have done.

By living a more Christ Centered Life I need to only tweak and change a few things in my life now. Most times the changes we need are the little things and sometimes they seem to be harder to change then the big things in our lives. I think that is where I am now. I have the big things figured out however the little things need to be figured out. The little extra we can give here and there is what defines who we are. I need to give a little extra here and there. The great thing about putting the Lord first in your life is that you have the ability to fit everything in. I so often forget that and want to do every thing else first.

Christmas 2011

Christmas was very simple but grand. We really had a nice time with family and friends. This year was quite different from last year. Last year we did not have a tree and this year we were able to have a tree because of some very thoughtful people. One of my coworkers and friend had an extra tree and so we borrowed a tree from her family. Another friend from church brought over some ornaments. My son and I had a really great time decorating the tree; we made a whole evening out of it. We made a chain that went all around our tree. It was really a lot of fun setting it up and decorating.

My son got everything that he wanted and more. I tried to keep the real meaning of Christmas in my home. I really want my son to remember the the true meaning of Christmas so we did not make a big deal about Santa Claus and we talked a lot about Christ and why we celibate Christmas. I hope that he will carry it with him throughout the year and that we will be able to talk more and more about Christ and that he can have a greater understanding of the atonement, sacrifice and of course the birth of our Savior. It is not something that should only be remembered once a year.

For Christmas Eve we went to Galveston for Stroganoff for dinner. It tasted wonderful; it happens to be my favorite meal. Christmas we opened presents at our house then went to church. Church was really great, we had a wonderful message about the savior filled with beautiful music and so sacrament was filled with the Spirit of Christmas. After I went and took some gifts to some young women that were not at church and headed to Galveston and we opened our presents there. Then we spent the day relaxing, we stayed the night and my son was sleeping by 7:30pm, and I got to stay up and visit with my aunt and uncle. It was a lovely day. Then next day cousins came down and the kids played all day and I read most of the day and did some thinking about life and how blessed I have been.

This year we sent out Christmas Cards and we got a ton back which was really exciting. It was great to see how everyone was doing. It really seems that everyone is doing well, we all are having our struggles but we are all managing. It really made me grateful for what I have and that I am not alone. We are all dealing with things they may not be the same but no one is free of trials. It was really nice to hear from so many people and to see how they are doing?

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas and that they were able to feel the true meaning of Christmas. I surely know that I really felt the true meaning of Christmas this year.

Top 10 moments of 2011

The Ferrin Family

Our TOP 10

moments of 2 0 1 1

10

I was called into the Young Women. I love the sisters I serve with. We have a lot of work to do but anything is possible if you believe. I have come to love the young women and am excited to see what the year will bring; hopefully great things.

9

I endured my first year as a mom and I am still alive and so is my son with only a few bumps and bruises. The first few months were an adjustment. Being a mom has helped me look at life in a completely new and exciting way. I love being a mom.

8

This summer when we were not traveling we had the opportunity to visit most of the museums and sites in Houston. My son had his friend came along so he would have someone to enjoy the sites with. Their favorite was the Space Museum.

7

I am teaching Fifth Grade Math again this year. I have four classes, each very different from the other. I was asked to be the Fifth Grade Head Chairman this year. It has brought on a whole new stress level; however we are managing quite well.

6

My son started guitar lessons in October and is doing rather well. He was given a guitar from Grandpa and Grandma and he is always playing it and showing me all the fun things he is learning.

5

We bought a new car in April. After researching and considering the different options we finally settled on a Mazda CX-7. It was within our budget and we love everything about it. It has been a great relief to know that we have a dependable car.

4

My son got on A/B Honor Role the last nine-weeks. He loves his classes however he has a tendency to talk a little too much. His teachers have been wonderful with him and are very patient and a great help.

3

We drove to St. George for a few days to celebrate my son's birthday; than drove to Salt Lake City for three weeks, we visited family and enjoyed sites. Stopped in New Mexico to visited family, stayed longer then expected. We had such a great time

2

My son's adoption was finalized on July 12, 2011, it was one of the greatest experiences I have had. Everyone should adopt. My son changed his name and he is rather proud of his new name.

1

We have enjoyed being with family and friends throughout the year. We are grateful for all the kindness and prayers that each of you have shared in our behalf. We hope each of you have a wonderful Christmas. We love you.